"Apki marzi hai
Think whatever you want to
Waise what have you done to be the one...
you can't even walk with me...
so whatever you do or think is entirely your side of cooked up story......"
I found this while going through our conversations.....
I wanted to tell her the reasons ...but may be she wont care about it......
She came ....
I was seeing her after a long while...
she just wanted to remind me ....of our mutual friends birthday....which i remembered..
She asked .."How are you ?".....
My phone fell off...my hands ....as we talked to each other...
asking each other formal questions...
She picked up the phone....and did read the open message from her......
But her reactions didn't changed at all.......
Are you fine ?.....she asked me ....
"If u want , i can help you .....but its you who don't want me to help" .....she added
Its out of your hands...as you have no other solution other than leaving someone .......
alone ...
and the question of walking with you....
I knew ...i was unlucky....and knowing that reality ..made me feel i was cheating on you
by letting you be unaware of it....
I was trying to be away from you...so that you don't get affected by my unluckiness..
while my feelings ...wanted me to be close to you..the way it may least affect you.....
I was ready to wait ...until you know all the truth..and decide ....if you wanted to
be with me...or wanted to leave me .....on my own...
The only reason...that i never greed-ed to be something on some-others expenses....
what made me...to keep distance from you...
Because I knew you had a life worth living .....and i had my feelings worth trying for
your love.........
It hurts ....hearing such words from you.....as i always wished for your happiness...
but you never gave me....any credits for it in your life.....
You used to make fun of my feelings..ignore them.....
then be the sweetest person by apologizing.....and make things be normal again...
If you never had the experience of walking next to me....
I never had that....love from you....
Maybe if was easy for you to see me......get destroyed...
I could never think of making that happen to you....
a tear coming down her eye....cached my attention.....
I raised my left hand...to wipe it....
and i accidentally stained that with blood ....coming of the hurt-ed hand...
the blood didn't stopped....and the stains of blood
made her image fade ..to give way to reality....
It was nothing ....just that i was lost to the other world and my hand came in between
the closing door of the car...
The pain was nothing in comparison to the pain i was suffering from......
There was no one to take care...and no one to be worried.....
So a cloth was tied...and i happen to get closer to reality of being the words
i promised her.....
" I ll be only yours.....even if i be away from you"
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