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Showing posts with label blood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blood. Show all posts

Friday, June 22, 2012

Last - III : No Second Chances In Life !!



After moving out of the place ...i felt i needed to tell her everything
My last attempt to justify myself ....

Everything ran into my mind ..for her first words ....to her last ones before she left...

I was not sure ...whether she would agree to meet me or not .....
But i thought i would swear her ...like she used to do ..before ....she wanted to get something
done by me.....
especially when she knew ...i would be in two minds about it .......

would be in ....or have ?
confused ?
i smiled ..as i knew ..she was the one who corrected me always .....

I called her up...
to ask her to meet up the next day .....
as she was planning to head up for further studies ...out of the city 
in a week ....
this was the only chance i had ...i had my fears ..but i had overcomed them
now ....seriously today i was not prone to them...

I asked her out for a coffee ...early in the morning ...
she agreed ...but she warned me ..to be there for some time only
to which i agreed.....

I was happy she agreed , to it ...after so much .....
I message her ...i had something to tell her ...

should not be something related to my love or feelings .....her condition 
at which she agreed to come ......

I had to agree at everything .....

.......


i was waiting there ...since early morning 
for the coffee shop to open ...
I double checked my pockets for money ......

i sat on the table , unnoticed by the waiters ...
maybe i was not someone important at that hour .....or they were just too busy 
getting ready for the day .....

And she came , her arrival marked a huge increase in my happiness .....
U seem to be different today ....
her question....after the formal handshakes ....and greetings
She was not happy ...on being called ...

Suddenly , 
her cell phone rung ....and she picked up the call and conversed softly 

i heard her mentioning the place ...to someone 
i heard her saying ....with ***, the one who writes blog on me...how i ditched him
and all that
yeah .....
nothing , he hasn't really start talking yet ...dont worry will meet you up in
a while , sure meet me up here .....cya

I could figure out ...it was him....

My expressions did changed again.....

So her question 
why did you called me here ?

I just wanted to tell you something ....

sure, as always .....now whats left to be told ?...she asked

i felt i need to tell you about the prediction , if you were interested ....

"hmmm".....she replied as if she just didnt cared to hear all that ...

I was told ......my life is tough ......
I have 3 opportunities to live .and a definite opportunity to die.....
the four opportunities come at different stages of my life ....
one at 16-17
second at 21-22
third at 30-31
fourth at 40-44

the fourth ...definites the result of my end ......
but i have opportunities to survive the three.......

The opportunities ....test me on my willingness to live ...
and if i tend to fail to justify ....i ll be dead ....

She yawned .....as if i was telling her an assumed story ......

i was warned to not fall in love ....as the girl - you ....was predicted to never 
understand my feelings ....and it was feared ill loose all my willingness to live 
and it happened just that ......

The only solution was if you could give me a chance to be part of your life ..
and your trust that i could be your someone special ....
as it would have given me .a reason to add and strengthen my willingness to survive
after the happenings just took away my reasons to survive ....

The day , the things ...as predicted would be tough for me to survive ....
was a day back ......

So , 
you survived it ....good , good for you , now are you over with your melo drama
she replied


almost ...i replied .....

with waiter interrupting to serve the coffee....

so , whats left , she enquired ..

and she noticed ..and turned to ask for spoon .....

in the mean while ...i saw him .parking his vehicle in the parking area..just in front of 
the coffee shop...and waiting for her ..maybe 

she got up from her seat to get the spoon from the counter....
as i placed an envelope ....under her cup of coffee....and left ...
she saw me.....walking out of the shop ...and came behind ..
but lost the sight of me.....

he waved at her ....from the distance ....
and came to greet her ......

the waiter came running behind her .....with the bill and asked her 
to pay ....
he paid for the price for the coffee...and asked him to leave ...
while paying 
he asked her ...." why does he calls you here ...when he doesn't have the money to pay
, thank god i was here ...to rescue you.."

she laughed to her joke ...." i had the money to pay the bill , but i left my wallet in
my activa...."

So where is he ?....he inquired
he left .....still had that ego ....left without saying anything .....

Okk you wait here ...i ll be back in a while.......he said 

The waiter came back ...with the change....and an envelope ..

she offered him the change .as the tip ....but he asked her about the envelope....
he told her ....he found it on the table ...
she looked at it ......

and the envelope had ..." To my goli"

the waiter left ....and she opened up the envelope .....
and it had a card ....
she assumed ...it to be a lovy-dovy card again.....
and 
read it ....

it had 
" You are invited to pay last tributes to ...Mr *******, "

she doubly checked the name...it was my name there ....
she didn't believed it .....
i had drank the coffee ....with her and now ...she was holding up the invitation card
to my last rituals ...ceremony

a tear started to fell from her eyes ....onto the card ,

she looked in the envelope ....for more.
and it did had ....a note and ring 

the ring she looked at it .....and it seemed her the same as described in the blog
and she read the note .....

" Shona (goli) ....
you once said ...its too easy say things ..but its tough to make them a reality
you said ...."i had the guts to say but never had the guts to make it come true...

so today , call it my motive or the game of destiny ....its coming true ....
"
the note was stained in blood .....

She noticed i was silenced by her interruption to have assumed me to have survived
the curse of destiny ...which in real was something she was holding up
in her hands ......


Sunday, June 17, 2012

I ll be only yours.....even if i be away from you



"Apki marzi hai
Think whatever you want to
Waise what have you done to be the one...
you can't even walk with me...
so whatever you do or think is entirely your side of cooked up story......"


I found this while going through our conversations.....
I wanted to tell her the reasons ...but may be she wont care about it......

She came ....
I was seeing her after a long while...

she just wanted to remind me ....of our mutual friends birthday....which i remembered..
She asked .."How are you ?".....

My phone fell off...my hands ....as we talked to each other...
asking each other formal questions...

She picked up the phone....and did read the open message from her......
But her reactions didn't changed at all.......

Are you fine ?.....she asked me ....

"If u want , i can help you .....but its you who don't want me to help" .....she added

Its out of your hands...as you have no other solution other than leaving someone .......
alone ...
and the question of walking with you....
I knew ...i was unlucky....and knowing that reality ..made me feel i was cheating on you
by letting you be unaware of it....

I was trying to be away from you...so that you don't get affected by my unluckiness..
while my feelings ...wanted me to be close to you..the way it may least affect you.....
I was ready to wait ...until you know all the truth..and decide ....if you wanted to
be with me...or wanted to leave me .....on my own...

The only reason...that i never greed-ed to be something on some-others expenses....
what made me...to keep distance from you...
Because I knew you had a life worth living .....and i had my feelings worth trying for 
your love.........


It hurts ....hearing such words from you.....as i always wished for your happiness...
but you never gave me....any credits for it in your life.....

You used to make fun of my feelings..ignore them.....
then be the sweetest person by apologizing.....and make things be normal again...

If you never had the experience of walking next to me....
I never had that....love from you....

Maybe if was easy for you to see me......get destroyed...
I could never think of making that happen to you....

a tear coming down her eye....cached my attention.....
I raised my left hand...to wipe it....
and i accidentally stained that with blood ....coming of the hurt-ed hand...

the blood didn't stopped....and the stains of blood
made her image fade ..to give way to reality....

It was nothing ....just that i was lost to the other world and my hand came in between
the closing door of the car...

The pain was nothing in comparison to the pain i was suffering from......

There was no one to take care...and no one to be worried.....
So a cloth was tied...and i happen to get closer to reality of being the words 
i promised her.....

" I ll be only yours.....even if i be away from you"