Unknown - V

Devastated by the neglections .....
i start to fear life ....more...
and the fear hits every aspect of my life.......


the closest being .....the wish for her comeback...


the neglections make me think ..and realize that it just could be my another
wish just like these ....neglected to be a part of reality...


my mind stumbles ...on fears 
and my heart negotiates ..to make the countable chances of his wish being true..
remains preserved...


The heart as ever wish for her ....happiness
but wants to be with her too...both being poles apart realities....


I get a call , someone wanted me...he wished to see me.....
and he being the reason...that i never pick up unknown calls...i was called
and i had an offer...


i was fearing down....as now i dont want to work into anything that doesnt stand
justified on principles.....
my hand retaliates to every single motion around me....and i m fearing down...
and the cup in my hand bearing the trembling fingers.....


i m waiting for him.....why ?
maybe i know ...he may agree and make me work in something good....
he comes ...walks towards my table.....
i m all into my table...trying to hide under it ....so that no-one sees me...
as i know people may just recognize me ...and show pity on my condition...


i look at him....and envy the style ...he had...which i deserved.....
i know how he makes up all that money ....even i can do that....
but the main reason....i dnt wanna get into all that....


"i need your help."....me as straightforward as possible......


"sure"..first shall we order something...
the treat is on you....he said..


i checked my pockets ..i hardly had any cash...
i was wearing a shirt...my father bought me....long time back
when he was well.....it still looked new.....
and it was enough to make him jealous...


he very well knew ....my condition...
so he just boasted his money out...


just to take my mind of him....i looked around in the cafe...
and i observed a girl and a boy sitting on the table right near the glassy 
entrance of the cafe....
the girl looked simple ...the boy reminded me of my incident with her..
as he was constantly checking his pockets for cash under the table ..
as the girl ordered.....


it was the day , she had asked me to accompany her ....
the reason was unknown to me....just her purpose was clear...
she had to buy her..MBA form from some bank...
but i was late ...as usual ...never on time personality


it was not that hard to have the form..or i missed that part by being late
after she had her form...
she took me...to a low budget restaurant ...still famous though
to eat something
but it was full and though over crowded...


so we finally settled down for this cafe....
and under the table i constantly compared my pocket with their rate list.....


i knew i couldnt afford a cup of coffee that expensive
but with her ..it seemed ..it worth nothing...


he pulls the chair....after having a look at all the fridged items ....
as i settled for just a coffee for me...
it brought me to the present....with the waiter serving the order on the table...


he constantly talked ...but i was just involved with the couple sitting on the other table
they made me live those moments back...that day again...


getting to the point...i asked him..for help
help to make me join some company for internship ...i knew it was not at all difficult 
for him....but the question was ..."why would he do it ?"


he enquired about my requirements and my abilities, and what kind of work i wanted 
to be in...


in the end , he asked ..why this ? you are good at the work you used to do ..
and you used to earn ...well too.....;you should come back....i ll help you
you can work under me..and i wont treat you as a junior....
and no one would ever mention what happened in past.....


i knew , they were all words...he never meant any of them...he wanted to worsen my condition
and take advantage.....


I just want you to help me..with what i want..i dnt want to go back to anywhere....


so shall i leave ?...he asked
i will look into what i can do to help you...
he asked for bill....and the waiter stood above me...
i cant pay ...he knew....so moved to him....
he paid him...and left.....


the waiter came back with the change...it was twice the amount of the bill....
i asked for a favour from him...


i asked him to take the money and account it for the couple sitting on that table
and made sure that their billed amount was equivalent to the change..he came back with


i put my hands in the pocket and took out some tip ...for him
the amount in total i had ..with me..


he smiled and did what i had asked him to do....


he told them...the treat was free for them...due to the ocassion of the celebrations
of that cafe...


i was still there....
when the girl said ..." lets order something more....."
its free...".....


the boy made an excuse and they both left ...


maybe he was worried .....that the cafe persons may change their minds on giving
everything for free and he may have to pay double.....


the waiter passed my table ...and i thanked him ...


I stood up from my place to be at that table ...where i once sat with her....
the constant talks about here and there....and me trying to boast or state the reality
of condtion in my own way.....


I still have her....with me...
i believe....maybe not forever..but i do