She Left ...Then Why Do I Breathe....

she wishes to move .......on
No matter what i do , trying to convince her to stay
 
but is she aware of the fact that ........how much i love her

everytime .....i think of letting her go.......
i would try and be numb to everything.

would it change anything ?.......(letting her go)
my love......
or
i ll be just another passerby in her life.......who left when it was his 
time to leave.

i am obsessed .....not with the time she gives him away
but the time ......she never gives me......

now , 
its just normal
people leave comment about her beautiful profile ......pictures
on wall.....and she feels so excited.......about it

i don't.......because she never asked me to......
she never wanted me to show up
what is the importance of a person......who leaves ....his life open
What's that to be told every-time " I didn't asked you , you did it on your own."

What's the mistake of the person, who 
don't have someone ......to share his life.....with

If i left an update at my wall on a site,
she would click and unclick the like button

the same moment.
Just to let me know she tried..

but if i left a comment.....i never had a reply to that....
because i was not him.......or someone important

just because......i don't smile......i don't feel like being happy
i have so much to blame myself for......without any way out to solve them......
because its way beyond .......my hands.....

i shared ......with her all my problems......initially some less hurting .....
ones
which she felt happy to have made me follow her solution.....just for her
but when it came to .......huge problems......
i turned coward....weak.......psycho.......just not good enough for her........

i was the same person .....now and then......

you really must have thought.......i did have faked.......
but i gave you a chance .....to see by yourself.....
but you rejected.....
even before telling you all that.......

what do you want ?
this question would come up........
the question i never used........

i didn't changed ......neither my wish to be with you forever.....
its just........you don't wanna give away

just because .......i mentioned .........some stuff
which i had to let you know....but it came out all in all ......a bad way
that it hurted you and me......

we are meant to be together.......but
only if you accept me ........the way i am
and i promise.......to change if possible .....to somewhat of your definition

i thought you understood me.......
wanted to be with me....
understanding ......everything

i am ready to give it all.........to the relationship
but this relationship isn't important for you.............
even i did .....promise .....i wont leave you ........

.......



life after her.......its been days......
she is busy....
her replies.....come days after the questions asked.....

she wouldn't reply to messages......calls......say she is busy
and would be found.....talking on phone the next moment

i know i have hurted her too much.......
and she is giving up
because she was not ready to handle it .........
and i was an idiot ......to have told everything

i try......try to be away from her......
let her be at peace.......

but i cry .....everyday....
seeing she doesn't care.......

she has a mutual friend to know it all.....if she wants
who do i know......from whom i can know
about her well being....

Does she still matter to me ?
Yes 
but not in a way that she can take advantage of .



i miss being the part of her conversations......
i miss being the part of her soul.....

i had to drive away ......her feelings....
to let me be normal for a while.....just to show
i m not mad.......

when the paper ....goes wrong......
or anything happens......
i miss her to tell.....everything about those incidents......
and the way she would .......tease me
took my focus of being sad about it

she made me be at life .......everyday
when she was with me......