Search This Blog

Friday, January 27, 2012




"u won , i loose "
i murmer......as i breathe....after had cried...........
just because .....her memories .......just enclosed me....
and i feel pain ........to have lost a love .....

nothing makes me alive .......i m back to the being alone again

everything is dead....
i dnt wana connect with the world.......
just wanna be left alone

i remember .....her words
y do u all this ?.......for sympathy ?
stop this melo-dramatic drama of ur emotions
...its nothing even close to love between us....and stop getting too luvy-shuvy
abt it.........

it kills....
all those words......just declare .....
me dead
she doesnt care.....n i cant do anything abt it

i thought ......i ll be bonding ......even if i dnt try to much
coz i didnt need to act stupid ......or be a trouble for her.....

all i m now ....is a person
who gets to hear......
u did nothing so special for me.....what do u blame me for ?
not reacting on ur stupid msgs .....or ur phone calls.......
ur stupid talks.....or ur nonsense.......

i tried to win a love of someone's heart
but i m here .....left with nothing of my own ......i hand
now........

the way , she reacted.....and said those words......
i felt like i should die.......the very next moment..........
it was her .......who used to say ....dnt do anything stupid ...thats lands me into trouble.....
and she hardly gave me chances to meet her.......

she wud meet me for like ......15 minutes .that may get extended to a half an hour ...at most...
sometimes i waited for hours ......to have those 15 minutes.......
and many times i just waited....and those minutes even didnt came......

is loving ......someone so much ?
wrong.....
or she doesnt believe me ?
after i confessed everything from my past ?

when someone tries to be good .....when done bad at times......
his honesty.....stands to be questioned
i m ready to give it all........
n
i did nothing for sympathy
it was all meant to be.....

and i did ...what  i felt .....was the best.......

it was my honesty ......to show u life
without and with me.......
the choice was urz..........

but ur decision never looked to have been made .....considering my efforts ......and feelings
and
it changed all .......
for me.....without ur second thoughts........

y wud u have second thoughts ?
coz that decision doesnt affect u at all......its all me......
who will ......be all alone.....wont share ....his life with anyone....
wud curse ....and wud always ....search for the one thing inside himself......that made u leave
and
when will find .....nothing......
will have tears .....falling down his eyes.........

i ll be so helpless.....to be like that......
how just a day ....changes the life.........

.....

i meet my friends.....they see the change in me......
one of them .....knows the whole story.....
and just tried making me understand......"she wont come back"
i smiled at him....and said....u dnt knw her......at all
and i have knw her .....more than anyone......
she is just upset ....coz i m stupid to have bursted my emotions on her.....
i knw she loves me.....and she wont committ that just to keep it a secret......coz she dnt wanna loose me
she ll be back ......coz i knw my feelings......are true.....and, she believed and knew.

i wud feel so weak ...to have lied .......that all my hopes dying with the every passing moment
with everything he says ....is coming true......she is ignoring me to her extremes......
and all she cares abt herself now.....and she gives a damn abt my feelings.......

i feel like....not facing them again.......
and i see .....reasons getting added to the list ......that want me to die.......

No comments:

Post a Comment